Present in Briefing: Sgt Erob, Officers Luscombe, LaBonte, Rugaard and FTOs Lawrence & Utecht and Dispatcher Hinton.
FTO= Field Training Officer.
Set Scene: Boring white, beige and teal room with tables in a U shape. Sgt sitting at a desk at the front of the room.
Lawrence and Hinton were apparently the only smart ones who knew which Starbucks (out of 5 in our city!) was open and we had our tasty beverages in hand. (proper prior planning). i also had the Holiday Gingerbread waiting for me at my workstation- I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME AT STARBUCKS!
Luscombe decides he wants coffee. Jumps up, dashes to the kitchen and starts a pot of (imo) cheap, crappy acid water. Luscombe comes back into the room and barks (in his unintelligble british accent) at LaBonte, who is 3 months new to our department, “LaBonte! If you knew any better, you’d be the one starting the coffee! Expletive! Sissy Frenchie!”
To which Labonte retorts “Oh no, if you had any brains, you’d be making ME the coffee, you old man!!”
“When Snoddy was new, he was trained right! He made the coffee even though he didn’t drink it! Then he served it to all of us in briefing.” [Snodgrass is the officer mentioned and to my knowledge, Snoddy never brewed nor served coffee].
Somehow this ribald exchange turned into a discourse on Young, Fast LaBonte and Old, Slow Luscombe, then onto how the French in general are sissies who can’t fight. When Luscombe had enough of LaBonte, he started in on how the FTO’s weren’t training the rookies right and blamed it on Lawrence. Lawrence, who’s used to Luscombe’s outbursts, just rolls his eyes. Not satisfied with that response, Luscombe starts in on Rugaard, who happened to be having a bad hair day. Rugaard’s meager salt and pepper hair was indeed sticking up at all sort of angles. That also backfired on Luscombe because he shaves his head and everyone knows it’s not because he’s losing his hair, it’s because he’s too lazy to wash it and too cheap to buy shampoo.
This was our Thanksgiving Day. We’re kinda like a large family. Brothers picking on each other. Sisters helping. One of our firefighters brought over Turkey dinners for the dispatchers since we can’t leave. The officers get to hang out with their families to eat and respond to calls when needed. Holidays at work are pretty laid back and fun, so it makes it a little better when we have to be here and not with our families. I just hope it stays “Q”.
Hope you all had a great holiday. For those brave souls shopping tomorrow- may the hunt be fruitful!
